Five Years of Letters
by EightTrillionStars
Summary: After their friendship ends, Snape gives Lily the letters from James that he has intercepted since their first day at Hogwarts.


**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, blah blah blah.**

Lily was crying.

Her friendship with Severus was really over. The box in front of her just made that ten times more evident. He'd neatly (okay, not-so-neatly; that boy was never good at organizational skills) packed up all those stupid things that represented their friendship and given it to her that morning at breakfast, with all of the other Gryffindors giving him hateful looks. She decided not to put off going through it all…that would only make this ten times worse when she finally _did _sort through it.

The Slytherdor (they agreed that it just sounded better than Gryffinin) scarf that they'd made as a symbol of unity. Various letters and a few doodles. A few other things she couldn't bear to look at. And then…at the very bottom of the box, she found something completely unfamiliar. It was a large stack of envelopes, tightly-albeit messily-bound by string. On top, there was a quickly scrawled, slightly stained note.

_Look, there's a lot of things that I'm sorry for. And this is just another one of those things. I intercepted all of these because I…because I wanted to protect you._

From flipping quickly through all of the envelopes, she found that they were letters from none other than James Potter, the boy whose advances she'd been thwarting since the day she stepped on the Hogwarts Express. Severus-being the so very _kind _person that he was-had organized them by year.

Wait, Potter had written her letters? This thought hit her suddenly. Sure, they'd started to become friends, or at the very least acquaintances, since the incident in their 5th year, but that was partially because she'd needed a shoulder to cry on, especially when she realized that she couldn't patch up the problems with Sev. It was beyond repair, as had been proven to her on this crisp November morning. But still, the idea that he'd sent her even one letter at all was…well, it was impossible.

_But wait,_ said that tiny voice, the silly voice of reason, inside her head, _Potter's asked you out in every way possible. Why should you be surprised that he wrote letters._

_And don't forget,_ chimed in another voice in a mildly condescending tone, _Snivellus was always jealous of them. It makes perfect sense that he would have found a way to catch the letters before they got to you._

"Oh, shut up," Lily mumbled, glad that her friends had agreed to leave her alone and go to Hogsmeade with everyone else while she kept to herself for the day.

What did she have to lose by reading these? Maybe they'd be entertaining; she could use a good laugh right now.

And so she took the first letter and read it.

"hi lily im james potter we met on the train. Your realy pretty"

She almost started crying again at the absolutely _atrocious_ grammar and spelling and, well, everything. It was painful. She had to remind herself that he was eleven when he sent this, so it couldn't really be held against him.

_Oh, yes it can,_ said the reasonable voice. _If he was trying to charm you, he should have at least tried a little harder._

_Oh, come on,_ replied the smug voice, _He was an eleven-year-old boy. Cut him some slack. And he DID compliment her, after all._

The next letter was from a couple weeks later.

"wow your great at potions! I thought only slytherins were good at potions -James"

Really, Potter, really? Although she couldn't help but smile, remembering how impressed Professor Slughorn had been when she'd been the only one to create a decent boil-curing potion.

_Someone, please tell that boy the difference between your and you're,_ Reason begged.

Another two weeks later…

"I saw you by the lake today, you looked lonely and I realy wanted to come sit with you but than that greasy-haired boy sat with you. dont hang out with him he'll only hurt you in the end -James"

THAN that greasy-haired boy? _Then._ Now Lily was agreeing with the voice of reason. This was ridiculous. How did he ever possibly pass a single class?

She tried to ignore the ache she felt when she realized just how right the eleven-year-old James Potter had been.

"Why dont you ever rite back? -James"

"Because I never got your letters, Potter," Lily whispered.

_Because you can't spell simple words?_ suggested Reason.

_Because Snivellus was hiding your letters the whole time,_ the condescending voice pointed out.

The next letter was dated more than four weeks after the previous.

"You know my friend Remus Lupin? Skinny and kinda pale? He told me your…agh, I mean you're, sorry…probably not writing back cuz-"

Another handwriting interjected. "if you _must_ shorten the word _because,_ at least shorten it properly: 'cause."

Lily giggled. It was _so_ liked Remus to correct someone's grammar. She kept reading.

"Okay, you're probably not writing back 'cause of my spelling and grammar and such. He says it might _offend_ you. If it did, I'm sorry, and I'll try to do better. What I meant to say in the past letters was this: you're really pretty, you're amazing at potions, and I kinda wanna hang out. -James"

Aww. He fixed his grammar for her. Lily was actually touched. A little. Or maybe it was just relief at the corrections.

"You're still not writing back. ): -James"

She felt bad, but it wasn't her fault. She'd never known about the letters.

_Did he really put a sad face in that? What is he, twelve?_ mocked Reason.

_Um, actually, eleven…_ Condescending said with a laugh.

If those two sides of her brain didn't shut up soon, she was going to _lose it._

The next one was slightly thicker than the others and was dated Christmas of their first year.

"Merry Christmas Lily! I made this for you…er, I had Remus help me make this for you. I hope you like it. -James"

Enclosed in the letter was a hairclip with a lily flower on it, bit it wasn't plastic. It was a _real_ lily, enchanted to not wither. "I love it." And she clipped it in her hair, glancing across the room to the mirror to see how it looked. The white flower stood out against her red hair that was for sure.

Both Reason and Condescending joined together to say, _Aww!_

"Will you be my valentine? -James"

Would she have been, if she'd gotten these letters? She would have liked to say yes, but she knew that back then, she hated him.

"I hope you have a good summer, Lily. Don't get sunburned and wear sunglasses to protect your pretty green eyes. Maybe we could meet up sometime? -James"

The next letter was from the summer.

"One more month until I get to see you again. I'm counting down the days. What about you? -James"

No, she wasn't. But she felt bad now, thinking about how she had dreaded seeing him and his friends again.

From the middle of October…

"I know I'm kinda a jerk to Snivellus, but really, can you please give me a chance. Please, Lily? It hurt when you called me an arrogant toerag. I don't want you to think about me like that. -James"

Second year. That was when she'd coined the phrase _arrogant toerag,_ which had persisted until fifth year.

Another Christmas card.

"Merry Christmas, Lily. Did you get the box of chocolates? Those were from me. I dunno if you figured that out. And another thing I dunno if you've figured out yet: I like you a lot. Um, wanna…hang out sometime? -James"

She remembered that box of chocolates. It was _huge._ It had covered about a fourth of her bed. She never had figured out who gave it to her. Well, now she knew. Why hadn't she thought to give him anything, all of these years?

And another from Valentine's Day.

"Happy Valentine's Day, Lily. I wrote you a poem.

Her eyes are as green as a fresh pickled toad

Her hair is as bright as a sunset

She's really divine; I wish she was mine

This girl I'm falling in love with.

-James"

Okay, so it was a little stupid. And he was in second year when he wrote it-how could he know about _love_? But it still made Lily smile a little.

The next letter was not until October of third year-quite a gap.

"I'm sorry about yesterday. I didn't mean to embarrass you in front of your friends. But, um, _would_ you like to go to Hogsmeade with me? Or maybe meet at Three Broomsticks? Think it over. -James"

Lily had, of course, ended up going with Severus.

Another Christmas letter and another Valentine's day note. Nothing from fourth year. She found that she was surprisingly saddened by this. The next letter was from the beginning of fifth year and, compared to the others, was practically a novella.

"Lily,

We don't really talk much, and I hate that. I guess I made myself your enemy by immediately making fun of Snivellus-um, Snape-when I first met you. I really would like to try to make amends. I _have_ tried to make amends. I don't know what else to do to apologize for that.

I really like you. No, um, I think that I love you. Whenever you walk by, I can't breathe. My head starts spinning when I think of you too much; I get dizzy and can't think straight. (And let's be honest. I'm practically _always_ thinking about you. Maybe that's why I'm so bad in lessons.) On the rare occasion that you say my name (even though it's usually Potter and not James), I get butterflies in my stomach.

I've tried flirting with other girls, but I can't. They're just not _you_ enough.

I know that you probably don't feel the same. And I guess I don't deserve someone as wonderful and beautiful as you. But I _would_ like to try to be friends.

-James"

Lily was really starting to wish she had received all of these. What on _earth_ was this funny feeling she had as she reread that particular letter?

The next was from the day after the _mudblood_ incident.

"Lily,

I just want to make sure that you're okay. After yesterday, I mean. That was pretty…that was pretty awful. And I know I shouldn't tell you this because I know you'll take it the wrong way (more than likely)…but I hexed Snape yesterday. For you.

This is also the last letter I'm going to send you. I'm not giving up on asking you out, but since I doubt you're even reading these…I don't want to bother you with them.

And, just to let you know, I saw you in the stands at the last Quidditch match. You looked amazing in that Gryffindor scarf. You should show House pride more often. Or maybe you shouldn't. I kept getting distracted during the match.

I love you.

-James"

And that was the last letter. Hearing voices coming from the common room-they must be back from Hogsmeade-Lily stood up, letting the papers fall to the floor. She knew what she was going to do, though she wasn't sure if she was consciously doing it or if she'd completely lost control.

She went down the stairs and saw that James, Lupin, Sirius, and the slightly slimy Peter were just climbing through the portrait hole. She ran to James and threw her arms around him.

He staggered back before returning the hug, startled. "Er, hello, Lily." Then he saw the lily in her hair. He remembered it. How could he forget the _hours_ he and Remus had spent working on it to get the spell just right? "You're finally wearing it?"

"I just got it. I just got…_all_ of the letters, actually. And, um, James…I love you too."

Whether she leaned up or he leaned down or both would remain a mystery to everyone. But whatever happened, James Potter and Lily Evans finally kissed. The entire common room cheered.


End file.
